{"id":983,"date":"2011-08-21T18:42:31","date_gmt":"2011-08-21T23:42:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.chloeneill.com\/?page_id=983"},"modified":"2017-05-23T22:08:11","modified_gmt":"2017-05-24T03:08:11","slug":"drink-deep-sneak-preview","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/?page_id=983","title":{"rendered":"Drink Deep – First Chapter"},"content":{"rendered":"

CHAPTER ONE<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The wind was cool, the fall night crisp. A waxing moon hung lazily in the sky, so low it seemed close enough to touch.<\/p>\n

Or maybe it just seemed that way because I was perched nine stories in the air, atop a narrow metal grate that crowned Chicago\u2019s Harold Washington Library. One of the library\u2019s distinctive aluminum owls\u2014either one of the best architectural features in the city or one of its worst, depending on who you asked\u2014sat above me, staring down as I trespassed in his domain.<\/p>\n

This was one of the few times I\u2019d ventured outside my Hyde Park home in the last two months for a reason unrelated to food\u2014it was Chicago, after all\u2014or my best friend Mallory. As I glanced over the edge of the building, I began to seriously regret that decision. The library wasn\u2019t exactly a skyscraper, but it was tall enough that a fall would most certainly have killed a human. My heart jumped into my throat, and every muscle in my body rang with the urge to kneel down, grasp the edges of the grate, and never let go.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not as far as it looks, Merit.\u201d<\/p>\n

I glanced over at the vampire who stood to my right. Jonah, the one who\u2019d convince me to come out here, chuckled and brushed auburn hair back from his perfectly chiseled face.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s far enough,\u201d I said. \u201cAnd this wasn\u2019t exactly what came to mind when you suggested I get some fresh air.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe not. But you can\u2019t deny the view is fabulous.\u201d<\/p>\n

My white-knuckled fingers digging into the wall behind me, I looked out across the city. He was right\u2014you couldn\u2019t fault the intimate view of downtown Chicago, of steel and glass and well-hewn stone.<\/p>\n

But, \u201cI could have looked out the window,\u201d I pointed out.<\/p>\n

\u201dWhere\u2019s the challenge in that?\u201d he asked, and then his voice softened. \u201cYou\u2019re a vampire,\u201d he reminded me. \u201cGravity affects you differently.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was right. Gravity treated us a little more kindly. It helped us fight with more verve and, so I\u2019d heard, fall from a height without killing ourselves. But that didn\u2019t mean I was eager to test the theory. Not when the result could be bone-crushingly bad.<\/p>\n

\u201cI swear,\u201d he said, \u201cif you follow instructions, the fall won\u2019t hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Easy for him to say. Jonah had decades more vampiric experience under his belt; he had less to be nervous about. To me, immortality had never seemed so fragile.<\/p>\n

I blew the dark bangs from my face and peeked over the edge of the railing one more time. State Street was far below us, mostly deserted at this time of night. At least I wouldn\u2019t crush someone if this didn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have to learn to fall safely,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d I said. \u201cCatcher trained me to spar. He was big on falling down correctly.\u201d Catcher was my former roommate and best friend Mallory\u2019s live-in beau. He was also an employee of my grandfather.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen you know being immortal doesn\u2019t mean being careless,\u201d Jonah added, extending a hand toward me, and my heart jumped, this time as much from the gesture as the height.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d put myself\u2014and my heart\u2014on a shelf for the last two months, my work as Sentinel of Chicago\u2019s Cadogan House mostly limited to patrolling the House\u2019s grounds. I could admit it\u2014I was gun shy. My newfound vampire bravery had mostly evaporated after the Master of my House, Ethan Sullivan, the vampire who\u2019d made me, named me Sentinel, and been my partner, had been staked in the heart by my mortal enemy . . . right before I\u2019d returned the favor to her.<\/p>\n

As a former grad student in English literature, I could appreciate the perverse poetry of it.<\/p>\n

Jonah, captain of the guards in Grey House, was my link to the Red Guard, a secret organization dedicated to providing oversight to the American vampire Houses and the Greenwich Presidium, the European council that ruled them from across the pond.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d been offered membership in the RG, and Jonah was the partner I\u2019d been promised if I\u2019d accepted. I hadn\u2019t, but he\u2019d been nice enough to help me deal with problems GP politics made too sticky for Ethan.<\/p>\n

Jonah had been more than happy to act as Ethan\u2019s replacement\u2014professionally and otherwise. The messages we\u2019d exchanged over the last few weeks\u2014and the hope in his eyes tonight\u2014said he was interested in something more than just supernatural problem-solving.<\/p>\n

There was no denying Jonah was handsome. Or charming. Or brilliant in a weirdly quirky way. Honestly, he could have starred in his own romantic comedy. But I wasn\u2019t ready to even think about dating again, I didn\u2019t think I would be any time soon. My heart was otherwise engaged, and since Ethan\u2019s death, mostly broken.<\/p>\n

Jonah must have seen the hesitation in my eyes. He smiled kindly, then pulled back his hand and pointed toward the edge.<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember what I told you about jumping? This is the same as taking a step.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019d definitely said that. Two or three times now. I just wasn\u2019t buying. \u201cIt\u2019s a really, really long step.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is,\u201d Jonah agreed. \u201cBut it\u2019s only the first step that sucks. Being in the air is one of the greatest things you\u2019ll ever experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter than being safely on the ground?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMuch. More like flying\u2014except we don\u2019t do \u2018up\u2019 nearly as well as we do \u2018down.\u2019 This is your chance to be a superhero.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey do call me the \u2018Ponytailed Avenger,\u2019\u201d I grumbled, flipping my long dark ponytail. The Chicago Sun-Times had deemed me a \u201cPonytailed Avenger\u201d when I\u2019d helped a shifter in a bar attack. Since I usually wore my hair in a ponytail to keep it away from the errant katana strike (my bangs not included), the name kind of stuck.<\/p>\n

\u201cHas anyone ever told you you\u2019re particularly sarcastic when you\u2019re scared?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not the first,\u201d I admitted. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I\u2019m just\u2014this is freaking me out. There is nothing in my body or mind that thinks jumping off a building is a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll be fine. The fact that it scares you is reason number one to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or reason number one to turn tail and run back to Hyde Park.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me,\u201d he said. \u201cBesides, this is a skill you need to master,\u201d Jonah said. \u201cMalik and Kelley need you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kelley was a former House guard now in charge of the House\u2019s entire guard corps. Unfortunately, since we were now down to three full-time guards (including Kelley) and a Sentinel, that wasn\u2019t exactly a coup for her.<\/p>\n

Malik was Ethan\u2019s former second in command, Master of the House since Ethan\u2019s demise. He\u2019d taken the Rights of Investiture, and the House had been given to his keeping.<\/p>\n

Ethan\u2019s death had sparked a nasty case of vampire musical chairs.<\/p>\n

As a Master, Malik Washington had gotten back his last name; Masters of the country\u2019s twelve vampire Houses were the only vamps allowed to use them. Unfortunately, Malik had also gotten the House\u2019s political drama, which had thickened since Ethan\u2019s death. Malik worked tirelessly, but had to spend most of his time dealing with the newest bane of our existence.<\/p>\n

Said bane was Franklin Theodore Cabot, the appointed receiver of Cadogan House. When Darius West, head of the GP, had decided he didn\u2019t like the way the House was run, \u201cFrank\u201d had been sent to Chicago to inspect and evaluate the House. The GP said they were concerned Ethan hadn\u2019t effectively managed the House\u2014but that was a total lie, and they\u2019d wasted no time sending the receiver to check our rooms, our books, and our files. I wasn\u2019t exactly sure what data Frank was looking for\u2014and why so much interest in a House an entire ocean away?<\/p>\n

Whatever the reason, Frank wasn\u2019t a good houseguest. He was obnoxious, autocratic and a stickler for rules I hadn\u2019t even known existed to the exclusion of everything else. Of course, I was becoming pretty well acquainted with them; Frank had papered one wall of the House\u2019s first floor with the new House rules and the punishments that went along with breaking them. The system was necessary, he\u2019d said, because House discipline had been lackadaisical.<\/p>\n

Maybe not surprisingly, I had taken an immediate dislike to Frank, and not just because he was a blue-blooded Ivy League business school graduate with a penchant for phrases like \u201csynergy\u201d and \u201cout of the box thinking.\u201d He\u2019d salted his introductory comments to the House with those words, offering up the not-so-subtle threat that the House would be taken over by the GP on a permanent basis\u2014or disbanded\u2014if he wasn\u2019t satisfied with what he found.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d been fortunate enough to come from a family of means, and there were other vampires in the House who had old money backgrounds. But it was Frank\u2019s attitude of entitlement that really irked me. The man wore deck shoes, for God\u2019s sake. And he was most definitely not on a boat. In reality, despite the role he\u2019d been given by the GP, he was actually a Novitiate vampire (if a wealthy one) from a House on the east coast. A House, granted, that had been founded by a Cabot ancestor, but which had long since been given over to another Master.<\/p>\n

Worse, Frank spoke to us like he was a member of the House, as if his money and connections were a passport to status within Cadogan. Frank playing at House membership was even more ridiculous since his entire purpose was to itemize the ways we weren\u2019t following the party line. He was an outsider sent to label us as nonconforming and pound us, square pegs, back into round holes.<\/p>\n

Out of concern for the House and respect for the chain of command, Malik had given him the run of the House. He figured Frank was a battle he couldn\u2019t win, so he was saving up his political capital for another round.<\/p>\n

Whatever the drama, Frank was back in Hyde Park. I was here, in the Loop, with an ersatz vampire partner determined to teach me how to jump from a building without killing someone . . . or pushing myself beyond the limits of immortality.<\/p>\n

I looked over the edge again, my stomach curdling with it. I was torn by dueling urges to drop to my knees and crawl back to the stairs, and to hurl myself over the edge.<\/p>\n

But then he spoke the words most likely to get me moving.<\/p>\n

\u201cDawn will be here eventually, Merit.\u201d<\/p>\n

The myth about vampires and sunlight was true\u2014if I was still on this roof when the sun rose, I\u2019d burn up into a pile of ash.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have two options,\u201d Jonah said. \u201cYou can trust me and try this, or you can climb back through the roof, go home, and never know what you might be capable of.\u201d<\/p>\n

He held out his hand. \u201cTrust me,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd keep your knees soft when you land.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was the certainty in his eyes that did it\u2014the confidence that I could achieve the goal. Once upon a time, I\u2019d have seen suspicion in his gaze. Jonah hadn\u2019t been a fan when we\u2019d first me. But circumstances had forced us together, and whatever his initial doubts, he\u2019d apparently learned to trust me.<\/p>\n

Now was a good time to make good on that trust.<\/p>\n

I held out my hand and death-gripped his fingers in mine. \u201cSoft knees,\u201d I repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou only have to take a step,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

I looked over at him, ready to \u201cRoger\u201d my agreement. But before I could open my mouth, he winked and took a step, pulling me along with him. Before I could protest, we were airborne.<\/p>\n

The first step was bone-chillingly awful\u2014the sudden sensation of the ground\u2014and our security\u2014disappearing beneath us, a sickening lurch that flipped my stomach and shuddered through my entire body. My heart jumped into my throat, although that at least kept me from screaming out a bubble of fear.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s when it got good.<\/p>\n

After the nasty initial drop (really nasty\u2014I can\u2019t stress that enough), the rest of the journey wasn\u2019t much like falling at all. It felt more like hopping down a staircase\u2014if the distance between each tread was a lot longer. I couldn\u2019t have been in the air for more than three or four seconds, but time actually seemed to slow down, the city decelerating around me as I took a step to the ground. I hit the ground in a crouch, one hand on the sidewalk, with no more impact than if I\u2019d simply jumped up.<\/p>\n

My transition to vampire had been scattershot, and my abilities had come \u201conline\u201d slowly enough that it still surprised me when I was able to do something the first time around. This move that would have killed me a year ago, but now it left me feeling kind of invigorated. Jumping nine stories to the ground without a broken bone or bruise? That was a home run in my book.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got hops,\u201d Jonah said.<\/p>\n

I glanced over at him through my bangs. \u201cThat was phenomenal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told you it would be.\u201d<\/p>\n

I stood up and straightened the hem of my leather jacket. \u201cYou did tell me. But the next time you throw me off a building, I will bring the pain.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled teasingly, which made my heart flutter uncomfortably. \u201cIn that case, I think we have a deal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou \u2018think\u2019? You couldn\u2019t just agree not to throw me off a building?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat fun would that be?\u201d Jonah asked, then turned and headed down the street. I let him get a few paces ahead before following behind, that teasing look he\u2019d given me still in mind.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019d thought the first step off the roof had been nerve-wracking.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

Cadogan House was located in Hyde Park, a subdivision south of downtown Chicago. It was also home to the University of Chicago, whose grad school I\u2019d been attending when I\u2019d been made a vampire. Ethan had changed me, beginning my transformation only seconds after I\u2019d been attacked by a rogue vamp\u2014one not tied to a particular House\u2014sent by Celina Desaulniers. She was the narcissistic vamp I\u2019d staked just moments after Ethan had been killed; she\u2019d sent the rogue to kill me to piss off my father. As I\u2019d later discovered, my real estate-peddling father had offered Ethan money to make me a vampire. Ethan declined the offer, and Celina had been miffed by my father\u2019s refusal to make the same offer to her.<\/p>\n

The girl was a piece of work.<\/p>\n

Anywho, Ethan named me Sentinel of the House. To help protect the House, and to avoid listening to Mallory\u2019s midnight (and noon . . . and six a.m. . . . and six p.m.) romantic escapades with Catcher, I moved into Cadogan House.<\/p>\n

The House had all the basics\u2014kitchen, workout room, an Operations Room where guards kept an eye on the House, and dormlike rooms for about ninety of the three hundred Cadogan vampires. My room was on the second floor. It wasn\u2019t huge and it wasn\u2019t lush, but it was a respite from the drama of being a vampire in Chicago. It had a bed, bookcase, closet and small bathroom. Plus, it was just down the hall from a kitchen loaded with junk food and bagged blood provided by our awfully named delivery service, Blood4You.<\/p>\n

I parked my orange Volvo a few blocks up, then hiked back to the House. It glowed in the darkness of Hyde Park, new security floodlights\u2014installed when the House was renovated after an attack by growly shape-shifters\u2014pouring across the grounds. The neighbors groused about the floodlights until they considered the consequences of not having them\u2014the protection darkness would afford supernatural trespassers.<\/p>\n

The House was relatively quiet tonight, a band of protesters snuggled into blankets on the grass between the sidewalk and the wrought iron gate that surrounded the House. Their numbers were down from the masses that had swarmed the grass before Mayor Tate had been stripped of his office, arraigned, and imprisoned in an undisclosed location. The change in leadership had calmed down the city\u2019s voters.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, it hadn\u2019t calmed down the politicians. Diane Kowalczyk, the woman who\u2019d replaced Tate, had her eye on the oval office, and she was using Chicago\u2019s supernaturals to prop up her future campaign. She was a big supporter of the proposed supernatural registration law, which would require all sups to register our powers and carry identification papers. We\u2019d also have to check in every time we entered or left the state.<\/p>\n

Most sups hated the idea. It was antithetical to being American, and it sang of discrimination. Sure, some of us were dangerous, but that was true of humans, as well. Would human Chicagoans have supported a law that required them to prove their identity to anyone who asked? I doubted it.<\/p>\n

The humans who\u2019d decided we were all untrustworthy dedicated their evenings to letting us know just how much they hated us. Sadly, some of the protestors were beginning to look familiar. In particular, I recognized a young couple\u2014a boy and girl who couldn\u2019t have been more than sixteen, and who\u2019d once chanted hateful words at me and Ethan.<\/p>\n

Yes, I had fangs. Daylight was lethal, as were aspen stakes and beheadings. Blood was a necessity, but so were chocolate and diet soda. I wasn\u2019t undead; I just wasn\u2019t human. So I\u2019d decided that if I acted normal and was polite, I could slowly challenge their preconceptions about vampires.<\/p>\n

Chicago\u2019s Houses also were getting better about challenging misinformation. There was even a bulletin board in Wrigleyville with a picture of four diverse, smiling vampires beneath the words \u201cCome on over!\u201d The billboard was supposed to be an invitation to get to know Chicago\u2019s Houses. Tonight, it was a reason for forlorn-looking teenagers to wield hand-painted \u201cCome on over\u2014and die!\u201d posters.<\/p>\n

I smiled politely as I passed them, then held up the two gingham bags of burgers and crinkle-cut fries. \u201cDinner time!\u201d I cheerfully announced.<\/p>\n

I was greeted at the gate by two of the mercenary fairies who controlled access to the Cadogan House grounds. They offered the merest of nods as I passed, then turned their attention back to the street. Fairies were notoriously antivampire, but they were even more antihuman. Cash payments from the House for their security services kept that balance.<\/p>\n

I hopped the steps to the portico and headed inside, where I was greeted by a knot of vampires staring at the wall where Frank had been hanging his declarations.<\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome to the jungle,\u201d said a voice behind me.<\/p>\n

I turned to find Juliet, one of the remaining Cadogan guards, watching the vamps with a forlorn look. She was slender and redheaded, and an elfish look about her.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cMore rules,\u201d she said, gesturing to the wall. \u201cThree new additions to the wall of shame. Frank has decided vampires are not to congregate together in groups larger than ten other than in officially sanctioned gatherings.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll the better to revolt against the GP?\u201d I wondered.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess. Apparently \u2018freedom of assembly\u2019 isn\u2019t one of the GP\u2019s favorite rights.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow very colonial,\u201d I muttered. \u201cWhat\u2019s the second?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her expression went flat. \u201cHe\u2019s rationing blood.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was so stunned by the idea it took me a moment to gather my wits. \u201cWe\u2019re vampires. We need blood to survive.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked disdainfully at the paper-dotted wall. \u201cOh, I know. But Frank, in his infinite wisdom, decided Ethan spoiled us by having bagged blood too readily available. He\u2019s cutting the Blood4You deliveries.\u201d<\/p>\n

Although we usually drank bagged blood, Cadogan was one of the few vampire Houses in the United States\u2014and the only one in Chicago\u2014that allowed its vampires to drink blood from humans or other vamps. The other Houses had abolished the practice to better assimilate with humans. Personally, I had taken blood from only one man\u2014Ethan\u2014but I could appreciate that the option was available.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter us than Grey House,\u201d I mused. \u201cAt least we have other sources.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot this time,\u201d Juliet said. \u201cHe\u2019s also banned drinking.\u201d<\/p>\n

That idea was equally preposterous\u2014but for a different reason. \u201cEthan made that rule,\u201d I protested. \u201cAnd Malik confirmed it. Frank doesn\u2019t have the power\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

But Juliet cut me off with a shrug. \u201cIt\u2019s part of his evaluation, he says. A test to see how well we handle our hunger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s setting us up for failure,\u201d I quietly said, looking over the crowd of vamps, now chattering nervously. \u201cThere\u2019s no way we make it through a receivership, two months after losing our Master and with protestors at the gates, without someone freaking out from lack of blood.\u201d I looked back at her. \u201cHe\u2019ll use that as an excuse to take over the House, or close it altogether.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cQuite possibly. Has he scheduled your interview yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

Not surprisingly, Frank had required each vamp to participate in a private interview. From what I\u2019d heard, the interviews were fairly standard \u201cjustify your existence\u201d deals. I was one of the few vamps he hadn\u2019t yet spoken to. Not that I was bummed, but each day that passed without an interview made me that much more suspicious.<\/p>\n

\u201cStill nothing,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it\u2019s a show of respect or something. Trying to respect Ethan\u2019s memory by not interviewing you first?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI doubt our relationship would sway the GP\u2019s evaluation of the House. Maybe it\u2019s strategic\u2014he\u2019s holding out so I anticipate the conversation, worry about it.\u201d I held up my dinner. \u201cAt least I have comfort food.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd speaking of which, it\u2019s a good thing you brought that in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe third rule: Frank has banned convenience food in the kitchens.\u201d<\/p>\n

Strike three for Frank. \u201cWhat\u2019s his rational for that one?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s unhealthy, overly processed, and expensive, he says. It\u2019s all apples and cabbage and granola in there right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

As a vampire with an appetite, that almost hurt more than anything else Frank had done.<\/p>\n

Juliet checked her watch. \u201cWell, I should get back to it. You heading upstairs to eat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLuc and Malik wanted to talk, and I promised I\u2019d bring grub. What are you up to?\u201d<\/p>\n

She gestured toward the stairs that led to the House\u2019s basement level, where the Ops Room was located. \u201cJust finished a shift on the monitors.\u201d She meant the closed-caption televisions that captured security footage from the House grounds.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything newsworthy?\u201d<\/p>\n

She rolled her eyes. \u201cPeople hate us, blah blah blah, wish we\u2019d go straight to hell, or maybe Wisconsin, since it\u2019s closer, blah blah blah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSame old, same old?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPretty much. If Celina thought outing vampires was going to usher in a happy vampire fairy tale, she was sorely mistaken.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCelina was mistaken on a number of fronts,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is true,\u201d she softly said, and I caught the hint of pity in her voice. But pity was as exhausting to bear as grief, so I changed the subject.<\/p>\n

\u201cAny sign of McKetrick?\u201d I asked. McKetrick, first name unknown, was a military type who\u2019d decided vampires were the republic\u2019s new enemy. He had black gear, combat weapons, and a strong desire to clean us all out of the city. He\u2019d harangued Ethan and me one evening and promised we\u2019d be seeing more of him. There\u2019d been a couple of sightings since then, and I\u2019d gotten a few more details about his military background from Catcher\u2014think questionable tactics and chain of command issues\u2014but if he had a master plan for vampirocide, he hadn\u2019t yet made it clear.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t sure if that made me feel better, or worse.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot even a ruffle.\u201d She tilted her head to the side. \u201cWhat were you up to outside?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOut. Working out, I mean.\u201d I stumbled a little on the explanation, as I hadn\u2019t yet confessed to the guards that I\u2019d been working with Jonah. Our time together had been triggered by our Red Guard connection, and that secret wasn\u2019t mine to tell, so I\u2019d avoided the subject of Jonah altogether.<\/p>\n

One more lie woven into the already tangled web.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s always good to stay in shape,\u201d Juliet said with a wink.<\/p>\n

A wink that suggested I hadn\u2019t been so sneaky after all.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s been a long night,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019m going to head upstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJuliet,\u201d I called out, before she\u2019d gotten too far. \u201cHave you ever jumped?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJumped?\u201d she asked with a frown. \u201cLike in the air?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike off a building.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have.\u201d Understanding dawned in her eyes. \u201cWhy, Sentinel\u2014did you make your first landing tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI did, yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCongratulations,\u201d she said. \u201cJust be careful that you don\u2019t go too far or fall too fast.\u201d<\/p>\n

Words to live by.<\/p>\n

# # #<\/p>\n

Frank had co-opted Malik\u2019s office\u2014the office that had once belonged to Ethan. Malik had barely had two weeks in the room before Frank arrived and announced he needed the space to evaluate the House.<\/p>\n

Malik\u2014tall, cocoa-skinned and green-eyed\u2014was deliberative. He picked his battles carefully, so he\u2019d deferred and moved back into his old office down the hall.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t large; the room was nearly filled by Malik\u2019s desk, shelves of books and personal mementos. But the small size didn\u2019t keep us from meeting there regularly. Bound together by our grief, we were more likely to be crammed into the office in our spare time than anywhere else in the House.<\/p>\n

Tonight, Malik and Luc sat on opposite sides of a chess set atop Malik\u2019s desk, Lindsey sat cross-legged on the floor a few feet away, magazine in hand.<\/p>\n

Malik\u2019s wife, Aaliyah\u2014petite, gorgeous, and as humble as they came\u2014joined us on occasion, but she was absent tonight. Aaliyah was a writer who spent more time in their apartment than out of it. I could completely understand the urge to hunker down and avoid vampire drama.<\/p>\n

Luc, now House Second and former captain of the Cadogan guards, was blond, tousle-haired, and laid back. He\u2019d been born and raised in the wild west, and I assumed he\u2019d been made a vampire at the barrel of a gun. Luc had pined for Lindsey, my House BFF and a fellow guard who\u2019d apparently stolen some time away from the Ops Room tonight.<\/p>\n

Their relationship had been stop and go for a long time, albeit more \u201cstop\u201d than \u201cgo.\u201d She\u2019d been afraid a relationship would lead to a breakup, and a breakup would destroy their friendship. Despite her initial commitment-phobia, craving comfort after Ethan\u2019s death, she\u2019d finally agreed to give Luc a chance.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d spent the first week after his death in a haze in my room, Mallory at my side. When I\u2019d finally emerged and Mal had gone home again, Lindsey showed up at my door in a total tizzy. She\u2019d gone to Luc in her grief, and consolation had turned to affection\u2014a supportive embrace to a passionate kiss that totally rocked her socks (or so she said). That kiss hadn\u2019t erased her doubts, but she\u2019d belayed her fears enough to give him a chance.<\/p>\n

Luc, of course, felt completely vindicated.<\/p>\n

\u201cSentinel,\u201d Luc said, fingers hovering over one of the black knights, apparently debating his options. \u201cI smell those burgers, and you\u2019d better have brought enough for everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Decision made, he plucked up the knight, sat it down heavily in its new position, then raised his arms in the air triumphantly. \u201cAnd so we advance!\u201d he said, winging up his eyebrows at Malik. \u201cYou got a response to that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure I\u2019ll figure something out,\u201d Malik said, his gaze now fixed on the board, scanning left to right as he calculated odds and evaluated his options. The chess game had become a weekly ritual, a way\u2014or so I\u2019d guessed\u2014for Malik and Luc to exert some minimal control over their lives while the GP\u2019s talking head sat a few yards down the hallway, deciding their fate.<\/p>\n

I put the bags of food onto the desk, pulled out bacon-laced burgers for me and Lindsey, and took a seat beside her on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo,\u201d I said, folding down the burger\u2019s paper wrapping. \u201cBlood rationing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Luc and Malik growled simultaneously. Malik generally left Frank to his own devices\u2014thinking the GP wouldn\u2019t allow him to intervene without making things worse.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe man is a stone cold idiot,\u201d Luc said, taking an impressive bite of his triple-layer burger.<\/p>\n

\u201cUnfortunately,\u201d Malik said, moving his chess piece and sitting back in his chair, \u201che is an idiot with the full authority of the GP.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich means we have to wait until he royally screws the pooch before we can act,\u201d Luc said, hunched over the board again. \u201cAll due respect, Liege, the guy is a douche.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no official position with respect to his douchery,\u201d Malik said, pulling a box of fries out of the bag, applying a prodigious amount of ketchup, and digging in. I appreciated that Malik, unlike Ethan, didn\u2019t need to be schooled on Chicago\u2019s best and greasiest cuisine. He knew the difference between a red hot and a hot beef, had a favorite pizza joint, and had been known to take a late-night trip with Aaliyah to a roadside diner outside Milwaukee to get Wisconsin\u2019s \u201cbest cheese curds.\u201d More power to them.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we will allow him to hang himself with his own rope,\u201d Malik added. \u201cAnd in the meantime, we will monitor the vampires and intervene when the time is appropriate.\u201d<\/p>\n

The tone was all Master vampire, something Malik had gotten better at using over the last few weeks. I took the hint, dropped the subject and dug into my burger while Luc used a fry to point to various chess pieces he was again deciding between.<\/p>\n

\u201cDeliberative, isn\u2019t he?\u201d I whispered to Lindsey.<\/p>\n

She smiled too knowingly for comfort. \u201cYou have no idea how deliberative he can be. How . . . thorough.\u201d She leaned toward me, nibbling on a bit of bacon from her burger. \u201cHave I ever waxed poetic about the glory that is the fuzzy-chested vampire wearing nothing but cowboy boots?\u201d<\/p>\n

Midbite, I squeezed my eyes closed, but it was too late to block the image of Luc wearing nothing but his birthday suit and sassy, red boots. \u201cThat\u2019s my former boss you\u2019re talking about,\u201d I whispered. \u201cAnd I\u2019m trying to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re thinking about him naked, aren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUnfortunately.\u201d<\/p>\n

She patted my arm. \u201cAnd to think\u2014I was actually hesitant about dating him. Oh, and speaking of which. Chaps. Enough said.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEnough most definitely said.\u201d Lindsey was becoming my new, in-House Mallory, complete with conquest details. Sigh.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn that case, I\u2019ll leave you to your imagination. But I strongly recommend the therapeutic application of fuzzy-chested vampire to grief. It works miracles.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am sincerely glad to hear that. But if you keep talking, I will poke your eyes out with a toothpick.\u201d I shoved a handful of napkins in her general direction. \u201cShut up and eat your burger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sometimes a girl had to lay down the law.<\/p>\n

CHAPTER TWO
\nBittersweet Dreams<\/p>\n

I stood on a high plain in my modern-style black leather\u2014my long hair whipping in the chilling wind that rolled past, swirling the mist that curled at my feet.<\/p>\n

The clothing might have been modern, but the setting was ancient. The landscape was bleak and empty, and the air smelled of sulfur and dampness.<\/p>\n

I felt the footsteps before I heard them, the ground rumbling just slightly beneath my feet.<\/p>\n

And then he appeared.<\/p>\n

Like a warrior returning from battle, Ethan emerged through the mist in garb out of time and place for twenty-first century Chicago. Knee-high leather boots, rough-hewn pants and a long leather tunic belted at the waist. There was a rust-red gash in the middle of his chest. His hair was long and wavy and golden-blond, and his eyes were vibrantly green.<\/p>\n

I walked toward him, fear circling my heart, making a vise around it, squeezing my lungs until I was barely able to sip at air. I was glad to see him alive\u2014but I knew he was a harbinger of death.<\/p>\n

When I reached him, he put his hands on my arms, leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead. Such a simple act, but so intimate. A precious affection that made my chest ache with sentiment. I closed my eyes and savored the moment as thunder rumbled across the plateau, shaking the ground again.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, Ethan raised his head and glanced warily around. When he looked at me again, he began to speak, the words flowing in a lilting language that sounded like it came from a time and place far away.<\/p>\n

I shook my head. \u201cI can\u2019t understand you.\u201d<\/p>\n

His expression tightened, a line of worry furrowing his forehead, the words coming more quickly as he tried to get his point across. But the speed didn\u2019t help.<\/p>\n

\u201cEthan, I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re saying. Can you speak English?\u201d<\/p>\n

Panic in his eyes, he glanced back over his shoulder, then grabbed my arm and pointed behind him. A low, thick storm front was rolling toward us, the wind beginning to pick up as the temperature dropped.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see the storm,\u201d I told him over the rising wind. \u201cBut I can\u2019t stop it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ethan yelled something out, but the words were lost in the howling wind. He started walking toward the thundercloud, pulling my arm in an attempt to drag me with him.<\/p>\n

But I resisted, pulling back. \u201cThat\u2019s the wrong way. We can\u2019t walk into the storm!\u201d<\/p>\n

He was insistent, but so was I. Positive we\u2019d be swept off the plateau and into the sea if we didn\u2019t seek shelter, I began running away from the wall of clouds . . . and him. But I couldn\u2019t resist a final glance back. He stood frozen on the plain, his hair whipping in the gale.<\/p>\n

Before I could reach out to him, the storm reached us and broke, the wind knocking me off my feet, the pressure sucking the air from my lungs. The rain came as I hit my knees, blowing sideways and turning the landscape gray, the wind howling in my ears. Ethan disappeared in the onslaught, leaving only the echo of his voice on the wind.<\/p>\n

\u201cMerit!\u201d<\/p>\n

I jolted awake, bathed in sweat, gasping for breath, the sound of his voice in my ears.<\/p>\n

Tears slipped from my eyes as I pushed drenched bangs from my forehead, and scrubbed my hands across my face, trying to slow the feverish race of my heart.<\/p>\n

My first dream of Ethan had been miraculous; we\u2019d bathed in the sun\u2014a taboo to vampires. I\u2019d savored that last memory of him.<\/p>\n

But this was the sixth nightmare in the two months since he\u2019d been gone. Each was louder and more vivid than the last, and waking up was like emerging from a tunnel of panic, my chest squeezed into a knot. In each nightmare we were pushed to some crisis, but the end was always the same\u2014he was always torn away from me. Each time I woke with his voice in my ears, screaming out my name in panic.<\/p>\n

I dropped my forehead to my knees, grief pounding at my heart like a kettledrum. The helplessness of loss overwhelmed me. Not just from the loss of Ethan, but from the frustration\u2014the exhaustion\u2014of being visited again by a ghost who wouldn\u2019t let me go. Tears fell, and I let them, wishing the sting of salt would wash away the hurt.<\/p>\n

I missed his voice. The sight of him. The smell of him.<\/p>\n

And probably because of that, I was stuck in a cycle that kept me dreaming about Ethan\u2014watching him die over and over again. My grief had become a hollow I couldn\u2019t climb out of.<\/p>\n

When my heart slowed, I sat up again and wiped the tears from my face with a shirtsleeve. I grabbed the phone from the nightstand and dialed up the one person who could calm me down . . . .<\/p>\n

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Note: \u00a0I am an Amazon affiliate and may earn a commission if you\u00a0buy goods\u00a0at\u00a0Amazon through\u00a0one of my links.<\/em><\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

CHAPTER ONE The wind was cool, the fall night crisp. A waxing moon hung lazily in the sky, so low it seemed close enough to touch. Or maybe it just seemed that way because I was perched nine stories in the air, atop a narrow metal grate that crowned Chicago\u2019s Harold Washington Library. One of[…]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":799,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-983","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=983"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/983\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7544,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/983\/revisions\/7544"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/799"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chloeneill.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}